Category Archives: Update! Yippee!

Where do Spartans Live?

RUSSIA. They all live in Russia. That is why there are so many Russian badasses there. Another example is the Spetsnaz. We all know how well trained and ruthless they are. The crawl in pools of blood under barbed wire while live gunfire is 6 inches above them. Only few are selected out of the Spetsnaz to become Spartans though. As a matter of fact, that is where Chuck Norris became a Spartan. Except he walked through the blood on his hands, through the barbed wire while dodging bullets. The reason he was in Russia at that time was because back in America, the President wanted him to shave his beard because he was in the military. He received a roundhouse kick to the face. This was later known as the JFK assassination. Mr.T happens to also be a spartan.. Ever since ancient Sparta, and he still is today because he never ages. A reason they chose him to be a spartan was because he single handedly won World War 2 and after 2.3 seconds of being retired, he wanted to go cause more pain.

To become a Spartan you need to be able to:

-Break someone’s bones by staring at them.

-Run 10 miles in 10 minutes (that’s the equivalent of running 60mph for 10 minutes).

-Deepthroat a wiffleball bat.

– Be in at least 3 wars

-Live forever

-Have high alcohol tolerance.

– Shit out a minicooper

-Kill someone with a fart

-Do 50 pull-ups. With your dick.

So to answer your question straight, Spartans live in Russia.


Easter Eggs VS. “Spring Spheres”

I don’t know if you have heard of this but, some people are trying to change the name of Easter eggs. The reason for that is that they believe that it is too religious and that it offends people! They want to change it to, “Spring Spheres”! This really flares my temper because people always get their greedy little ways no matter what, even if it doesn’t make sense. The term, “Easter Eggs” has been around for a hundred years, or more! Now these stupid people want to change it? What’s wrong with them?


Forget about this rubbish up at the top. The members of TLEG and I would like to wish you all a Happy Easter! Go now! Eat vast quantities of candy, have and EASTER EGG hunt, hang out with your family. Go on a date with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Today is supposed to be a day of love. Go make some love baby! Yeaayuh!
I’m IJUSTOWNEDYOU11 and I approve this massage, and message.


Hoooraaayyy! Vacation is a time of happiness and cheer and tons of Halo! Unfortunately though, Glasses Guy is going away to Williamsburg for the entire vacation!!!! He is just dying right now. Fortunately WarLemur is still around and we’ll be powning some major noobs!

Just some fun reading =D

I congratulate the people who made this for being so damn great. Kudos.


Welcome to ULTIMATE REACH. Here you will be learning about the wonders of killing helpless noobs in battle! It’s really quite simple! This takes years to master, but with a lot of practice, and skill, I believe, we believe you can do it! Good Luck!