Where do Spartans Live?

RUSSIA. They all live in Russia. That is why there are so many Russian badasses there. Another example is the Spetsnaz. We all know how well trained and ruthless they are. The crawl in pools of blood under barbed wire while live gunfire is 6 inches above them. Only few are selected out of the Spetsnaz to become Spartans though. As a matter of fact, that is where Chuck Norris became a Spartan. Except he walked through the blood on his hands, through the barbed wire while dodging bullets. The reason he was in Russia at that time was because back in America, the President wanted him to shave his beard because he was in the military. He received a roundhouse kick to the face. This was later known as the JFK assassination. Mr.T happens to also be a spartan.. Ever since ancient Sparta, and he still is today because he never ages. A reason they chose him to be a spartan was because he single handedly won World War 2 and after 2.3 seconds of being retired, he wanted to go cause more pain.

To become a Spartan you need to be able to:

-Break someone’s bones by staring at them.

-Run 10 miles in 10 minutes (that’s the equivalent of running 60mph for 10 minutes).

-Deepthroat a wiffleball bat.

– Be in at least 3 wars

-Live forever

-Have high alcohol tolerance.

– Shit out a minicooper

-Kill someone with a fart

-Do 50 pull-ups. With your dick.

So to answer your question straight, Spartans live in Russia.


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